Thankful that awful commercial holiday of St. Valentine's Day has come and gone, a holiday even the Roman Catholic Church refuses to take seriously (there are three different St. Valentines in their official listing of saints), I address the topic of my last two posts and some feedback received here or elsewhere (Facebook).
I admit to lacking any great financial stability, forced to take the only job I could get last November while also forced to sell my home and become a renter still dwelling inside it. In our materialistic society, women look for the best provider in seeking out a mate (all that feminist balderdash about sexual equality trumped by nature and its demands from long-held roles of men and women from antiquity). I am clearly not that provider, and in this nation when men rely upon the women as providers, Europeans call such men gigolos, a term most American males resent with their independent spirit. When younger, I was fat and unattractive (morbidly obese in my early to mid-20s) and never any young woman's dream come true. Now I'm older, somewhat slimmer and still unattractive (partly based on looks, but some who know me would say my true personality also contributes to this perception). In the world of modern-day natural selection (no, I reject Darwin, but still use one of his terms), I am far from the Alpha Male in terms of the mating and prosperity games, probably more likely the Omega Male (if such a label is relevant), a biological dead-end in the human race.
One comment suggested I give up this lonely man's sport of pursuing a woman for matrimonial intentions at online dating sites because of this financial instability (estimated annual income from my current part-time job at $7.25/hour being in the $5,000-6,000 range). I'm not getting any younger in my bachelorhood, and the older I become the less likely I'll ever find any wife out there. I'm tired of waiting for certain things in life, success at some career (writing obviously) equalling my frustration about being still unmarried and alone. I've even outdone my late parents in delayed marriage - he was 40 and she 35 - now at age 43 and still unmarried. How much longer should I wait, until I can provide for her (only God knows how soon that will be)? And if I succeed at my career to the extent I wish, will any eligible woman want me for who I am or the well-known author/meal ticket to have it all?
So, to paraphrase the Reverend Jesse Jackson in asking during 1988 when America would be ready for a black President, regarding my pursuit of a mate: "If not now, when?" I feel as though I've squandered my best years too terrified back then to go after any woman I wanted and missing out on a few good opportunities, and now considered so unwanted I must take anyone I can get who will have me for her husband even if she's not even remotely close to being my dream come true. I don't seek the perfect woman, but the one that's perfect for me and not the next guy. Deal with it.
I admit to lacking any great financial stability, forced to take the only job I could get last November while also forced to sell my home and become a renter still dwelling inside it. In our materialistic society, women look for the best provider in seeking out a mate (all that feminist balderdash about sexual equality trumped by nature and its demands from long-held roles of men and women from antiquity). I am clearly not that provider, and in this nation when men rely upon the women as providers, Europeans call such men gigolos, a term most American males resent with their independent spirit. When younger, I was fat and unattractive (morbidly obese in my early to mid-20s) and never any young woman's dream come true. Now I'm older, somewhat slimmer and still unattractive (partly based on looks, but some who know me would say my true personality also contributes to this perception). In the world of modern-day natural selection (no, I reject Darwin, but still use one of his terms), I am far from the Alpha Male in terms of the mating and prosperity games, probably more likely the Omega Male (if such a label is relevant), a biological dead-end in the human race.
One comment suggested I give up this lonely man's sport of pursuing a woman for matrimonial intentions at online dating sites because of this financial instability (estimated annual income from my current part-time job at $7.25/hour being in the $5,000-6,000 range). I'm not getting any younger in my bachelorhood, and the older I become the less likely I'll ever find any wife out there. I'm tired of waiting for certain things in life, success at some career (writing obviously) equalling my frustration about being still unmarried and alone. I've even outdone my late parents in delayed marriage - he was 40 and she 35 - now at age 43 and still unmarried. How much longer should I wait, until I can provide for her (only God knows how soon that will be)? And if I succeed at my career to the extent I wish, will any eligible woman want me for who I am or the well-known author/meal ticket to have it all?
So, to paraphrase the Reverend Jesse Jackson in asking during 1988 when America would be ready for a black President, regarding my pursuit of a mate: "If not now, when?" I feel as though I've squandered my best years too terrified back then to go after any woman I wanted and missing out on a few good opportunities, and now considered so unwanted I must take anyone I can get who will have me for her husband even if she's not even remotely close to being my dream come true. I don't seek the perfect woman, but the one that's perfect for me and not the next guy. Deal with it.